How I Got Started

I was recently asked how I got interested in coaching. Here's what I said:

After 10 years or so in the workforce, I found that I was good at a lot of things, but what got me really excited was witnessing a person or a group in a growth or learning process. For example, I was hired to be a manager of a team that was really unhappy and dysfunctional for a number of reasons. Through working with them one-on-one and as a group, we shifted the energy of the team to happy and functional. It took 18 months to turn it around. We also did a heck of a lot of project and customer service work during those 18 months, as our team was responsible for the computer systems for about a thousand people. So, I did a heck of a lot more in my daily work than focus on the individual and team dynamics. But the part that I really enjoyed was facilitating, encouraging and witnessing the personal, behavioral, and attitudinal shifts in the individuals and the team. That's one example of several in my overall career to date, but probably the most compelling.

After that experience, I decided to take some coursework in the people side of the work world, so took a 10-month class in organization development, [apologies to O.D. specialists for the following pedestrian description] a broad field that seeks to improve the "how" part of a workplace, such that the "what" part improves as a by-product. In other words, if people are happy and teams are functional, then the work gets done and gets done well. When I finished that course, I was in the middle of a fast-paced, interesting job, so I didn't seek O.D. work right away. Time passed and two years later I was back to wanting to do more people-focused work. Considering the breadth of O.D., the part that called to me the strongest was coaching. My perception is that in O.D., you mostly work with teams of people. Maybe this is because often a managerial perspective sees the organization as teams first, individuals second. Or perhaps because there is better economy of scale if the O.D. specialists focus on teams. In any case, my perception is that most O.D. people work with teams, doing lots of different things with them, including coaching.

But my preference is to work with individuals, because I prefer to see individuals first, teams second. I think that one person on a growth path, making strong decisions for himself or herself, can make a difference that ripples through their team and beyond. And, even better, ripples through the other parts of his or her life and beyond, with life-long impact. So, I took another 10-month class, this one focused on business coaching. After that course, I did another couple of years in my former line of work before deciding that switching careers would require an intentional stopping the first and starting the second - seems a no-brainer, but not as easy as it sounds when you have bills to pay. So, I quit my job, sold my house, went hiking, and moved to a new state. And here I am, starting the second.

We're all in this together,
Em

Want Some Advice?

I took a 10-month certificate course to facilitate my becoming a coach. Early in the program we were told, "Never give advice." Late in the program, the instructors pulled back from that a little, as an experienced coach might choose to advise from time to time. For me, etching the "never give advice" mantra into my coaching brain means that giving advice is something I do intentionally, consciously, and rarely.

What's so wrong with giving advice? Well, nothing, if you're in the role of parent, friend, mentor, advisor, or supervisor. These people give advice freely, sometimes solicited, sometimes not. But how often do we follow their advice, and if we do follow it, how often are we successful as a result? (My mother must have said "pull your gut in" hundreds of times as I was growing up. But, to this day, I'm not sure my body came with abs. ;-) )

If the advice matches an idea we'd already had, then maybe we'll follow it and find success. That's because we're more likely to put heart into something that we're fully bought into, something that feels right to us. And we're more likely to do it successfully if the approach we take is one that feels natural to us.

I have coached people who have asked me what I would do if I were them. And they've probably been unhappy when I have chosen not to answer. Rather than tell you what I would do, it's more effective to help you explore your options. In that process, I might choose to offer what I would do as one of the options. Or, I might not.

Find out what works for you. Start noticing when people offer you advice. Then start noticing how many times you feel that their advice really fits you, such that you get excited about following it. Then, how many of those times do you follow through and take action?

If you discover that advice works for you, seek a mentor or advisor. If you find that it doesn't, seek a coach, preferably one who has "never give advice" etched into her coaching brain.

We're all in this together,
Em

What is Coaching?

So, what do I mean by "coaching?"

Coaching is a process of discovery within a relationship between two people in the roles of coach and client. The client has one or more goals they wish to achieve. The coach facilitates the client's clarifying the goal, setting a strategy for achieving the goal, taking the steps required, and surmounting the obstacles along the way.

So why does a person need a coach for achieving their goals? Well, lots of us achieve lots of goals without coaching, of course! But sometimes we have a goal that we say we want, but can't seem to get there. (Check your New Years resolution list, and compare it to last year's list; you might find one or more of these.) Or maybe we are in a situation we wish we weren't in, but we can't seem to find our way out. Or perhaps we have a habitual behavior that is no longer serving us, but we find ourselves repeating it again and again--it is a habit after all.

Sounds like counseling or therapy? Counselors and therapists may incorporate coaching into their practices. However, coaching does not include counseling or therapy. Coaches focus on helping people move through the gap between where they are today and where they want to be, in whatever aspect of life they are dissatisfied. If a person's growth is hindered by mental illness or wounding from the past, a coach will not be able to help them heal.

I'll leave it there for now, rather than risk sounding like an infomercial. Just wanted to have a "what is coaching" post so my future posts can be "about coaching."

We're all in this together,
Em

All Things Coaching

In this blog, I'd like to share my thoughts about coaching. Life coaching, that is.

Several years ago I spent ten months earning a certificate in business coaching. Before, during, and after this training period, I served "corporate America" as a project and process manager. I found changing careers to be more challenging than I'd expected. Sigh!

I am intent on making that change now, as indicated by my quitting my corporate job, selling my house, thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail, and moving to another state. It's now or never!

On any given day, I may choose to share thoughts about the profession of coaching, about my journey in starting my coaching business, or about a book or other resource I've found.

We're all in this together,
Em