Past Performance Predicts Future... Or Does It?

In the hiring process, it is common practice to predict a candidate's potential success by considering his past performance. It makes sense; what other data do we have?

We do this past-predicting-future exercise in other areas of life as well, such as when engaging a contractor to work on the house, taking on a teammate, or predicting the actions of our family members.

I assert that looking only at past performance misses an important dimension--the person's self-awareness and willingness to learn. My assertion applies not only when looking outward at someone else, but also when looking in the mirror.

Consider how often we say "I always..." or "I can't..." or "I am someone who..." These are all ways of describing past performance. For example:
* I always end up putting my foot in my mouth during a visit with my mother-in-law.
* I can't ever remember people's names after I meet them.
* I am one of those people who is always late.

Notice that we tend to use present tense in such statements, predicting our future behavior by our past performance.

While it may be undesirable to speak poorly or forget names or be late, it's familiar and expected. No effort is required; we may continue on auto-pilot. And everyone around reinforces us with comments and actions that say, "That's just the way he is."

What if we shifted our self-descriptors to past tense? Then the statements above become:
* In the past, I have sometimes put my foot in my mouth during visits with my mother-in-law.
* In the past, I have struggled to remember people's names after meeting them.
* In the past, I was late so often that it's what people came to expect of me.

These statements are more true than the present-tense ones, because the supporting data all happened in the past.

These statements are also empowering, as they allow for the possibility of a different future outcome. But only if we are willing to stand in the bright light of self-awareness and face the fear of failure to learn new behaviors.

In coaching, we consider past behaviors for what we can learn from them. Then we design a better future and walk a path to bridge the two.

It's Not About Only You

It's January 8, 2009. That means that some of us are eight days into our New Me projects. If you are one of those people, you may be remembering 'bout now that although family, friends, and coaches may offer valuable assistance, only you can change your life for the better.

As true as that may be, today I offer you this: while it's up to only you, it's not about only you. In other words, for the best chance of making lasting change in your life, consider the impacts both on and of the people around you.

First, the impact on others... Realize that every shift you make has an effect on the people around you. For example, when you change your address or phone number, you require all of your correspondents to update their address books. Changes in behavior likewise affect others. You stop complaining; others who shared in your misery have to find new company. You start exercising; family members must adjust to your new routine. You take action to improve your relationship with someone; that person must respond in some way.

There's also something a bit more subtle at play... People in your life believe that they know who you are. And, the longer they have known you, the stronger that belief is. So, now you decide to change something about yourself and you start acting differently. This throws those people off course; they not only have to adjust their behaviors, but they also have to change their beliefs.

For example, perhaps you are known as someone who is always late to meetings, and you make changes so that you start arriving on time. For the first several of your on-time arrivals, you may endure teasing or snide comments, gestures, or facial expressions from the others in the meeting. Whatever their responses, the underlying message is, "your behavior doesn't match our expectations." Consider this: people don't generally embrace change, and they don't like to be wrong. Whoops, you've just asked for both--you want them to change their expectations and behaviors, and to accept that their beliefs about you are wrong.

That brings us to the impact of other people. Asked to change their behaviors and beliefs, the people around you may actively resist your attempts to improve, sabotaging your best efforts. But, it's not malicious. Reduce the impact on others by ensuring that you make your change in a way that works well for everyone involved. And, understand that you may have to exhibit your new behaviors consistently and long enough not only to form your own habit but also to convince others that the new you is here to stay. They will gradually adjust both their beliefs about you and their corresponding behaviors, and all will settle into a new status quo.

For the best chance of success in making a lasting change, actively engage the people who will be affected. Tell them ahead of time what you are planning to do differently and ask for their help. Then, stay in touch with them through the change process.

Yes, only you can change your life for the better. Just remember that it's not about only you.