Want Some Advice?

I took a 10-month certificate course to facilitate my becoming a coach. Early in the program we were told, "Never give advice." Late in the program, the instructors pulled back from that a little, as an experienced coach might choose to advise from time to time. For me, etching the "never give advice" mantra into my coaching brain means that giving advice is something I do intentionally, consciously, and rarely.

What's so wrong with giving advice? Well, nothing, if you're in the role of parent, friend, mentor, advisor, or supervisor. These people give advice freely, sometimes solicited, sometimes not. But how often do we follow their advice, and if we do follow it, how often are we successful as a result? (My mother must have said "pull your gut in" hundreds of times as I was growing up. But, to this day, I'm not sure my body came with abs. ;-) )

If the advice matches an idea we'd already had, then maybe we'll follow it and find success. That's because we're more likely to put heart into something that we're fully bought into, something that feels right to us. And we're more likely to do it successfully if the approach we take is one that feels natural to us.

I have coached people who have asked me what I would do if I were them. And they've probably been unhappy when I have chosen not to answer. Rather than tell you what I would do, it's more effective to help you explore your options. In that process, I might choose to offer what I would do as one of the options. Or, I might not.

Find out what works for you. Start noticing when people offer you advice. Then start noticing how many times you feel that their advice really fits you, such that you get excited about following it. Then, how many of those times do you follow through and take action?

If you discover that advice works for you, seek a mentor or advisor. If you find that it doesn't, seek a coach, preferably one who has "never give advice" etched into her coaching brain.

We're all in this together,
Em